No Bad Kids, ONLY bad parents....SAY WHAT?

There is a nasty little lie spreading through society these days. Whether this lie started a while back or is more recent to my generation, it has become a coined phrase that I would really like to NEVER hear again. 

"There are NO bad kids, ONLY bad parents."

Genesis 8:21 - And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.


Hopefully you won't get angry and hate me right away as I would love to build my case for you. Get to the end of this post and THEN you can decide what you feel.

To me, this idea can be simply shut down by this verse.

Romans 3:23 - For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

But there are MANY other verses in the Bible that express clearly that we were born sinners.

Ecclesiastes 7:20; Psalms 51:5; Psalms 58:3; Romans 5:12; Romans 5:19; Ezekiel 28:15; Jeremiah 17:9; Job 15:14-16; 1 John 1:10

Let me say quickly that I would NEVER choose to describe my children as BAD children. My children are very young and with their age and lack of understanding comes a foolishness and a need to be trained what is right and what is wrong. I never had to teach them to be disobedient. It comes naturally to them to test their boundaries and to choose to do wrong at times. When I catch one biting the other or pulling hair I don't run to the bathroom and look in the mirror to give myself a talking to. When I hear one of them antagonizing the other I don't sit myself in time-out. That would be pretty ridiculous. 

Proverbs 22:15 - Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

How would I describe my children then?

My precious girls who are my pride and joy and can make me laugh and cry in an instant...these incredible blessings that God gave me...they are SINNERS. If I spend all my parenting days teaching them that they do no wrong and endlessly blaming myself for their choices at age 2 or age 20, what else are they to learn but that they don't need a Savior. Why would they need God if they are just fine on their own? As their Mom its my responsibility to teach them to own up to their actions and to train them in the right way. 

I struggle greatly at this new idea of YES parenting or (Never say no parenting). I think it can be an amazing tool for parents to use when they struggle with anger or reactive parenting (which most of us do at one time or another). It can give us a different perspective and it has its place. However, when my daughter bites her sister for the 4th time in a row I can promise you I will not be saying "Lets find a better way to express your feelings honey." I will be correcting. I will be telling her NO. I will be explaining to her that we are to "Be ye kind one to another" and when she says she is sorry I will tell her sister about the part that says "forgiving one another, just as Christ has forgiven you." and then I will teach her that there are consequences for her actions even when she is sorry. There is no greater disservice we can do for our children than to lead them to think they never do wrong. 

There are BAD parents out there. Awful parents that have done horrible things to the blessings they were given. They will answer to God. But you are not a bad parent just because your child is naughty. Your child is naughty because they only know sin, and they are responsible for their own sin. Its up to us to teach them what is right. You won't crush their spirit by telling them "No" when they are wrong. You will help build them up into the kind of person God wants them to be. 

We have to be discerning about the ideas and philosophies we adopt when it comes to raising our kids. Just because it sounds good doesn't mean it is right. 

Instead of "There are No bad Kids, Only bad parents" lets just admit to ourselves, "There are sinners, I am one of them, and so is my child". And lets be thankful that we have a God that loved us enough to offer us His mercy.

John 3:16 
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believeth on Him, should not perish but have everlasting life."